The title of this post reads like a Big Bang Theory episode title, which is perhaps a bit ironic. Ironic, because the characters in Big Bang Theory are scientists, who although perhaps not wealthy, are financially stable (which is something that many in my generation are not). I love being a church member, and I put as much in the offering as I can afford (and sometimes a bit more) and I try to help out with various projects that my church is a part of: donations to the food bank, local outreach, etc. Recently, I was hit up for another donation (and although I knew that it was not in our budget) I gave in (who wants to deny a good cause?).
The financial deterrent is something that I think drives away the few people of my age who are interested in being part of a church family. I myself, feel that I am badgered because it is perceived that I am not contributing as much as those who have two incomes, are retired, and no longer have dependents. Perhaps, I am being overly sensitive, but I really do no think that I am alone with this. My partner and I often look at our bills each month and rejoice on the occasional month when what we brought in equals what we put out, forget trying to pay off our debts! Some day when we don’t have young children, a mortgage, and we were both well employed we’ll get there. It isn’t that we don’t want to help others in our community who are struggling, and we try whenever we can through other non-financial means. Our community, our friends, our families, seem to appreciate what we can offer, but some days it seems like our church keeps asking more and more, and when you say ‘no’ you are looked at with suspicions that you are being selfish. This shaming, is anti-Christian, and anti-community. While many people are aware from remembering their own experiences or from their own offspring, there are always the privileged few and far too often they are the ones who run the boards and the programs. The church is so much more than money, and outreach is so much more than money, and I think when we make it all about finances we lose something. For me, I feel undervalued and marginalized by part of my own community, and if I was more on the fringe I would be gone. I am not on the fringe, and as such I have to stand up for myself, and for the many others like me. Next time, I will stand firm and say no when it is just not in the budget that month.